Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

I am hilarious

One time I had to have some dental surgery. When I went in to the doctor, they gave me some crazy strong medicine that made me pass out in ten seconds. The next thing I remember, I was sitting in a room, where my girlfriend told me that it was all over. I smiled and closed my eyes.

"This is awesome," I thought, and opened my eyes again. When I closed my eyes, I would immediately start dreaming. When I opened my eyes, it was back to reality. I tried to explain this to my girlfriend, but it came out more like:

"Watch! When I close my eyes, I hallucinate." And then I closed my eyes to show her.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Ugh

On the ship, one of my castmates, Kate, was constantly disgusted at my antics. Like, during dinner, if I began to clitorally stimulate the crab leg I was eating, she would drop her fork, say "Ugh!" and turn away. I think that she actually had to leave the table a couple of times.

The other night, one of my ATL castmates asked me, in front of a paying audience, "Why are you so sick?" This was his reward for scoring the most "points" in the first half of the show: He could ask any cast member one question. This was the question he chose to ask. So then I had to explain to the audience why I "mimesturbate" on my "friends and colleagues" before a show.

I don't know where I'm going with all this. Maybe it's time to make a change.

Psych!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sunday, July 25, 2010

With Great Power...

...comes great acting. This guy's like Christian Bale Jr!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fine, Like Wine...

Mark Twain waits 100 years to release his autobiography. The wait is over.
“It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden.”

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Your Love Is My Drug

Study finds evolutionary purpose for a broken heart.

Monday, June 14, 2010

A Message To BP

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_5aKpWmxus&feature=player_embedded

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Passed Life

Fox's supernatural drama "Past Life" will air its remaining episodes starting Friday, May 28th. Fingers crossed that my ep airs!

Saturday, May 08, 2010

A Surprise to Noone

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/10095730.stm

Microsoft steady losing market share to all the other browsers that are actually good.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

XBoxin

The PS3 Media Server is awesome! Download it, make sure your XBox is networked, then bing! Zang! Powee! You've got access to all the video files on your computer, and you can watch them on your XBox.

Hooray!

America!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Unsolved Mysteries is Effing Creepy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVPsPGv1wVg

Monday, April 12, 2010

Fuckin Magnets, How Do They Work?

Insane Clown Posse - "Miracles"

I wish these motherfuckers would rhyme about some dope ass osmosis.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-agl0pOQfs

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

When Is A Camera An AK-47?

When you're in New Baghdad, apparently.

Ugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXPrfnU3G0&feature=player_embedded

Friday, April 02, 2010

Big Daddy

I just found the best thing ever. Bioshock 2 toys! A hypodermic syringe for EVE, a Big Daddy doll and a Big Daddy Action Figure.

Win!

http://www.thinkgeek.com/

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Noah Wyle Beats Up a Fat Dude.

Roflz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0oUqyDEt6s&feature=player_embedded

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Cary Grant Trips Out

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2010/03/his-girl-lsd-the-cary-grant-experience.html

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A Love Song for Richard Alpert

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6UCZqV5m3Q

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Talking Cookie Jar: Internet Celebrity?

No, but he was featured on ChatTROLLette, because of his experiences on Chatroulette.


http://chattrollette.com/?p=1244

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Remembering Willie Horton

Fascinating Wikipedia entry on Lee Atwater, the man who made Rove.

A quote from the dying Atwater, who destroyed many of his opponents, including Dukakis in '88:

"My illness helped me to see that what was missing in society is what was missing in me: a little heart, a lot of brotherhood. The '80s were about acquiring — acquiring wealth, power, prestige. I know. I acquired more wealth, power, and prestige than most. But you can acquire all you want and still feel empty. What power wouldn't I trade for a little more time with my family? What price wouldn't I pay for an evening with friends? It took a deadly illness to put me eye to eye with that truth, but it is a truth that the country, caught up in its ruthless ambitions and moral decay, can learn on my dime. I don't know who will lead us through the '90s, but they must be made to speak to this spiritual vacuum at the heart of American society, this tumor of the soul."

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Tales From The Kanyeverse

"I never felt completely comfortable. I'm tormented by the need to create."

Kanye talks College Dropout...

'Who's that African in the background mom? Oh he created the original layouts for the pyramids but was written out the history books and his MTV award was given to “aliens”.'

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

A Roger Ebert Story

"'I've been around a long time, and young men, if there is one thing I know, it is that the only way to kiss a girl for the first time is to look like you want to and intend to, and move in fast enough to seem eager but slow enough to give her a chance to say "So anyway ..." and look up as if she's trying to remember your name.'

Ebert's writing is gentle, calm and infectious. He trusts his readers not to be morons. He writes for who he imagines to be the ideal reader, which is actually the reader we all wish ourselves to be. Those who thought of him as the fat man with the thumb always missed the point. He became who he was because of his work. He did it the right way."

My Roger Ebert Story by Will Leitch